Scars

I have not written in awhile as was noticed by my friend Amy.  It has been a busy time with the passing of my mother, my new job and my kids to take care of.  I feel, however, that all that is going on in my life that I am improving. Life feels really good. Sure, life could always be easier. I never thought that I would feel o.k. so soon after the passing of my mom. Perhaps it is her spirit in my life that is influencing me.  I'm also realizing that through this transition and the passage of time my expectations of people have changed. Yes, the naive and fragile 8 year old girl still resides inside me. However, I truly believe that my eyes are opening to so many important observations and lessons.

As I look around it is hard not to notice that life takes it's toll on everyone.  I use to have a specific vision as to what was right and wrong, what was acceptable and who was redeemable and who was a total lost cause. I had an idealic childhood and for many years I thought life would proceed that way unvarnished by the passage of time and the events of life. This is not the case.  I am a prime example of the scarring and drama that can occur. 

If I followed my former "rules" on how life is suppose to be judged and proceed, then I would have to eliminate myself because I would be unworthy.  Are only the sinless valuable?  What can a sinner bring to the table? " Much." would be my answer.  They could provide example through their life on how to regain themselves from trouble and move forward. They can lead by how God is guiding them in their life and how faith and trust, even in the most desolate of experiences, is ultimately what gets a person through.  A blameless, unfettered life cannot account for much. It would also be hard to learn anything from that kind of life.  A straight line with no real twists or turns, no decisions to be made and nothing truly valuable to be gleaned.  I am glad that I have made this realization.  It makes it easier to see the beauty in everyone's scars. No matter how deep or disguised, each one bares the lesson of life well learned.  How can that not be beautiful?